stay in the circle: check out what is new here
22 February 2011
the journey continues
this is my second time around back toward a healthy weight. the gaining is a whole other story, but the losing is what i am dealing with again...now. so much goes into this process and change. one thing i have been thinking about is the confidence that gets infused back (or maybe for the first time) into life. i have seen myself go from the highs and lows and can't stop thinking about this part in the film, EAT PRAY LOVE, where the main character is out for a fine pizza dinner in Italia with her new friend that is also a lady. the main character is going on about her newly established "relationship" with pizza and the friend says that she is worried about all the pounds (kilos) she has gained since moving to Italia. the main character advises her friend not to worry about what her beau might think cause, "He doesn’t care. He’s in a room with a naked girl. He’s won the lottery."
for some reason this quote has stuck with me since watching this film recently. it is teaching me a lot about my own confidence and love for myself. i will never be a perfect 10, but who cares? this leg of my journey is teaching me a lot about being comfortable in my own skin and with who God is creating me to be. in the midst of all the transition it is just lovely to be at this place.
so, i guess i can take advice from the movie's title and EAT healthily, PRAY often, and LOVE myself, God, and those around me.
24 June 2010
Arab Fest: Huge Success!

In an effort to promote the festival, American Arab Chamber of Commerce Executive Director Fay Beydoun, decided it was time to highlight Middle-Eastern cuisine live on the metro-Detroit airwaves. Lebanese delights were featured on Fox-2 Detroit's weekend news with hosts Deana Centifonti and Jay Towers. Beydoun was a guest on their live cooking segment as she explained to hundreds of thousands of viewers how to make hummous. Accompanying Beydoun was Greenland Super Store Executive Chef Bilal Masri who tantalized viewers with authentic cuisine. The food included breakfast meat and cheese pies, chicken and lamb schawarma sandwiches, fruit smoothies, vegetarian grape leaves, stuffed squash, potato and lamb stew over rice, and other delicious items.
Another new event was the first annual hot dog eating contest sponsored by Leo's Coney Island. There were eight contestants who were given four minutes to down as many hot dogs as possible. The top three winners received cash prizes from Leo's. (You can see me to the far left in the photo below. I am wearing the shades. I was deemed "the lead person" on organizing the event. It was so fun and I learned a lot about promoting a hot dog joint that day:)
There was also an expanded carnival, children's interactive tent, adult main stage, artisans tent, international food booths, Arab merchandise, henna and psychic readings. As the organizer of the event, the Chamber would like to extend its gratitude to its presenting partner Ford Motor Company and in cooperation with the City of Dearborn and the Arab Community Center for Economic and Social Services (ACCESS) for their financial and logistical support. Also, a heartfelt thank you to the over 150 Impact International volunteers from the deep south who come in the name of promoting cross-cultural understanding. They have embraced the beauty of the community just as we appreciate all their volunteer efforts and southern hospitality.
It was a great trip and I will be posting more soon! Thanks for all your thoughts and support.
05 June 2010
desperately wanting
can't sleep just yet i guess.
there is a song that we used to sing in Girl Scouts. it was sung in rounds and go something like this:
make new friends, but keep the old
one is silver and the other's gold
for some reason this song has actually come up a lot in my mind in the last several years. these years have been full of old friends, new ones, and some that fall somewhere in between. i also think of the popular forward that gets sent around every once and in while that talks of the friends we have that come through our lives for reasons, seasons, and i forget what else. i feel like my pastor back in NA when he says that pastoring an international church is like watching a parade go by...waving goodbye to those who have been and waving hello to those to come.
as i lie awake after watching another three-episode installment of Dawson's Creek Season One (please keep snide remarks and comments to yourself) and was reminded of the time in my life when i watched this series as it was being released, i can't help but think of the people, the friends from that time in my life. a majority of them i know at least where they are in life thanks to myspace, facebook, and phone calls, but still we will never have that community we once shared. many of those parts of my life from early high school have died off and are buried.
since coming back from NA i have been processing a lot just how different the States are in comparison to well...the rest of the world. i went to a counselor this week to talk through some of the feelings and adjustments i have been going through these past several months. he quite assuredly let me know that i may never fully be assimilated back into the American way of life. never. really?
tonight, as the song referenced above was dancing through my head, i thought of the life i had in NA. how different it was. then i went onto thinking about the gold friends i have. you know, the ones that i have had from before i left for my two year adventure. where are they? many are doing what any person has done while a friend of theirs has been physically absent for the last 22 months or so...they have lived their lives. gotten married, have had children, have a new job, have moved, and of course: found new friends, new communities, new fellowships.
in an effort to try and be a "normal" 20-something in the southern US i decided i wanted to do something "normal" for this saturday night. it has been interesting trying to spearhead this outing since the one person out of the group that hasn't done something like this in quite sometime on many ways is the one trying to organize and plan (well, i guess that part of me hasn't change so much) this "normal" affair. i think we may end up with dinner out and a film from this weekend's local film festival. sounds normally good, right?
but you know what i am desperately wanting? community. fellowship.
how many more new friends that are silver-like and how many old friends that are gold-like will i have to have to have this community? does the community always keep changing?
i remember my first time at a church service back here in the good ole US of A. i had landed back here on a Saturday afternoon and went the following Sunday evening. i wasn't sure what to expect as i had never visited the church. it was funny later to me as i had this expectation in my mind that i might get some phone numbers or email addresses while i was there that night. see, at my international church in NA, if someone new came to our church, we would be very intentional in introducing ourselves and immediately try to get their phone number to try and set up a coffee date or tour of some part of the city for that week. i think i was thinking that might happen at my first time back in the US church. it didn't. and that is okay. i did fill out a card where i could list my contact info. and i was contacted later that week about various opps within the church, but it just wasn't the same. and i don't think it ever will be.
i guess i am coming to grips with that. trying to figure out how to deal with life in the transitional stages of life...specifically this one i am experiencing moment by moment. i have friends, but.
even though my Arabic was not that great, i feel like i was able to connect pretty deeply with some of my NA friends. and the connection, the fellowship, i had with other expats while there was just so unique. we all had a few important things in common: Christ and being an expat/international. for some reason this brought many of us together on many different occasions. so many walls were never put up because our lives were so different. it didn't matter where we had come from or how great we spoke our second or third language. we were in it together. it wasn't a big, dramatic deal. just toast with cafe' creme, movies, house visits or walks around the city.
i saw a picture on a book today of one of the ladies that lives in NA now and it just made me miss so much. isn't it ironic that the very things that i, at times, had such a hard time adjusting to in NA are the very things i miss the most?
but one thing that i hope could be found anywhere on the globe: community/fellowship/life with life/gold is what i am desperately wanting these days.
02 June 2010
lenses
i used to poke the sun-glass shades out of my sunglasses just so i could have frames to wear as my "glasses". later, i saved up money to buy fake pairs of glasses...i have had an array of glasses over the years. my sister still rags on my for the Sally Jessy Raphael pair i loved to wear around the house. for some reason i thought having glasses would be way more normal than having to explain to people at the swimming pool why i had to wear ear plugs and a swimmer's cap. my sight is actually really incredible...guess i can thank my not-so-great ears for that. i got good eyes.
the other morning as i was sitting with the Lord, i realized that my recent struggles intensify when my lens is zoomed in way too tight. it is like the lens is right up on my face...nothing else. all i care about is my problems, my worries, my...my...my. God was reminding me that i have to zoom out. i have to focus not on just my face or my latest fear or struggle, but be willing to let others in the picture. let others' lives be a part of mine. allow myself the privilege to use my experiences to help others has they go through theirs. and vice versa.
at the retirement party i went to last week i noticed a young lady taking lots of photos. i have seen some of her work before and was excited she was able to couple her talent with her day-job. later, she asked if i could take a photo of her work team. i gladly took the challenge of capturing the perfect shot of all five of them...making sure all eyes were open, smiles were on point, and backs were straight and tall. she warned me that the lens was really best for portraits, so maybe try and take a shot to see how it would really turn out. when i take photos i try to make them as un-needy of cropping as possible, but this portrait lens was tricky. it gave me a different shot than what i was seeing on my side of the lens. the gal said that the lens is best used for up close and personal shots and not so great for group shots (like the one i was trying to take for her and her team). this whole scenario came back into mind during my time alone with the Lord that morning. what if i took the portrait lens of my camera and was willing to attach the wide-angle, landscape lens? what would i see? what would that capture? possibly some heart-ache, possibly some trials, possibly some victories, possibly laughs, and so on and so forth. but most likely allowing the lens to capture the depth and width of life would allow me to experience loads of what God really cares about...love. not in the mis-construed sense that the world is all wrapped up in these days, but good, pure, holy L-O-V-E.
this article below is a helpful piece that reminds me of what i am really here for.
http://www.mygazines.com/issue/9197/68
not to [me], but to your Name be the glory.
27 May 2010
watching an armadillo decompose
there is an armadillo at a busy intersection near the street i am living on these days. this armadillo was hit and i assume killed upon impact. i have been watching the dead life of this armadillo. dead-life. his or her body is no longer full of life as we would call it, but a lot it still happening with this animal.
first off, i didn't realize that armadillos lived in urban areas. i was surprised to see one hit so close to this well-traveled street. the armadillo was left actually in the street, but the next day when i passed, someone was nice enough to move the 'dillo from the street and onto the grass. maybe two days ago the metamorphosis began. from life-life to dead-life. this 'dillo was now providing many insects and maggots food. it was interesting to see as i would pass by just about every time i left the house. soon, the stench came. then the shell was moved off the body and the stench stenched on.
yesterday as i was waiting to pull out at this busy intersection, a man was coming down the street walking on the sidewalk. i was wondering what he might think of this 'dillo and he didn't seem to notice it at first, but then when close enough was startled maybe my the stench and/or the sight of it.
today, i noticed the 'dillo's body almost entirely gone. wow. that was fast. the hard shell does remain. i haven't ever seen anything like this so up close and personal. it has made me think of several things: how quickly life (whether full of death or life) can pass by, what is eating away at me these days, how fast it seems that my emotions can cause me to crumble, how much i have changed since coming back from north Africa, what will my life-life be like in the future.
i was telling my sister this weekend that i find myself being very reflective. she made fun of me a bit by saying that the thought going through my mind must be: "oh, these humans..."
it made me laugh, but i do sometimes feel like i am from another planet. tonight as tears were welling up in my eyes, i found myself thinking and wondering furiously: "why did i have to experience what i have experienced? why do i have to care so much?" it makes me think back to a bold exhortation that will never leave me nor forsake me: "you have learned this truth, and now you are responsible to share it, apply it, live it." it is funny how i yearn for some ultimately responsibilities in my life, yet i tremble at the idea of actually being responsible.
i want to be married, yet easily dispel the fact that with this covenant comes much responsibility. i hope for God-fearing children, yet can quickly bypass the lists of responsibilities that comes with giving birth to a family.
this morning i had the opportunity to attend the retirement party of a great man. he has labored for over 40 years within the great state of AR and beyond. i laughed through many of the remarks that were given in his honor, but appreciated what one final remark exuded: his life-life isn't over. we were not at his funeral, but honoring the incredible ministry he has had and will continue to have in the future.
i find myself needing more down-time these days. i am not sure how this started to happen, but i have realized that i can't fight it anymore. i don't know if i am more of an introvert now or an otter or whatever label some may want to put on me, but it hasn't come easy. i find myself struggling to be rested. is that a bad thing? i was extremely challenged earlier this week when i read a blog entry of woman i deeply respect and hope to possibly be like one day. she talked about the day of rest. when she described (i read the follow-up post that included pictures first...i love pictures) what this day could be full of, i smirked and thought to myself, "yeah, right." but why am i so cynical? rest is something the Lord commands of us. two ladies told me today that they took a cruise earlier this year. why don't we take more cruises? a mentor of mine told me a little while back that one thing he has learned is that he shouldn't have been so worried about what others thought and how hard (meaning how many hours as if hours equals actual work) he should be working. is it ridiculous to feel burnt out already, while feeling like i haven't really done anything? yuck.
so, these are some thoughts...as i watch an armadillo decompose.
18 January 2010
southern France

mio and the city! it was a great view from the cathedral for sure. we took a bus up and then jogged back down. it was fun for sure. welcome to my southern France adventure!
Notre-Dame de la Garde is a basilica located in Marseille, France. This ornate Neo-Byzantine church is situated at the highest natural point in Marseille, a 162 m (532 ft) limestone outcrop on the south side of the Old Port. As well as being a major local landmark, it is the site of a popular annual pilgrimage every Assumption Day (August 15). Local inhabitants commonly refer to it as la bonne mère ("the good mother").Commissioned by Saint Charles Eugene de Mazenod, then bishop of Marseille, and designed by the architect Jacques Henri Esperandieu (1829-1874), the church was built between 1853, when the foundation stone was laid on September 11, and 1864. "The basilica was built in the 19th century in the same style as the Cathedral of Sainte Marie Majeure on the opposite side of the port." The church was built on the site of a 13th century chapel, also dedicated to Our Lady of the Watch, the traditional guardian of seafarers. It shared space atop the hill with a 16th-century fortification established for Francois I, built in 1525, whose own salamander badge is to be found within the present basilica's north porch.The basilica is surmounted by a 60 m (197 ft) belfry topped with a huge statue of the Virgin and Child, visible across much of the city and for miles out at sea. Construction of the basilica took five years and required 170,000 tons of material, including 23 shiploads of marble and porphyry from Italy. The interior is decorated with inlaid marble, mosaics and murals. Many of the walls are covered with hundreds of ex-votos, including paintings, plaques, model boats, war medals and even football shirts given by players and supporters of Olympique de Marseille, the local football team.wikipedia.org
i thought taking a pic of this would help me for my blog...so here you go! enjoy the stats!

inside of the cathedral, the nave. it was quite a hodge podge of items in there. wooden boats hanging down, plaques, trophies, etc. very interesting for sure.
this was a beautiful mural we saw on the way back down from Notre Dame. i just loved it. what do you think? it is of the port and so fabulous.
loved this street with the lights hanging up. happy holiday! :)

this was on our way back from the cathedral and in the distance up on the hill is the first Notre Dame we visited. i thought it was a nice shot to get a pic with and thought my mom would be happy to see mio with the city:)
The Palace is has three main parts:*A central building built to commemorate the construction of the canal in Marseille *The East Wing, the musée des Beaux-Arts *The West Wing, the museum of natural history The central feature from the front of the palace is a magnificent fountain. The central part shows four large bulls and three women (one who represents grapes/vines, one who represents wheat/fertility and the central one who represents the Durance river). Behind the women, within the building, is a man made stone grotto decorated with carved stalactites and nymphs. From under the three women, and from the bulls, water pours outward into the secondary basin, and then into the first pond. After the water washes out of the first pond into underground pipes, it comes out into twelve ornate bronze fountains lined alongside a waterfall like structure to the front.
it was so great to be with my lovely friend! she was such a great hostess and it was a pleasure to be able to experience her life in France. lovely. just lovely!
this one is for my sis!
Bouillabaisse is a traditional Provençal fish stew originating from the port city of Marseille. The French and English form bouillabaisse comes from the Provençal Occitan word bolhabaissa, a compound that consists of the two verbs bolhir (to boil) and abaissar (to reduce heat, i.e., simmer).
Bouillabaisse is a fish soup containing various kinds of cooked fish and shellfish and vegetables, flavored with a variety of herbs and spices such as garlic, orange peel, basil, bay leaf, fennel and saffron. There are at least three kinds of fish in a traditional bouillabaisse, typically scorpionfish (fr: rascasse); sea robin (fr: grondin); and European conger (fr: congre); and it can also include gilt-head bream (fr: dorade); turbot; monkfish (fr: lotte or baudroie); mullet; or silver hake (fr: merlan) It also usually includes shellfish and other seafood such as sea urchins (fr: oursins), mussels (fr: moules); small crabs (fr: etrilles); spider crab (fr: araignées de mer) or octopus. More expensive versions may add langoustine. Vegetables such as leeks, onions, tomatoes, celery and potatoes are simmered together with the broth and served with the fish. The broth is traditionally served with a rouille, a mayonnaise made of olive oil, garlic, saffron and cayenne pepper on grilled slices of bread.
What makes a bouillabaisse different from other fish soups is the selection of Provencal herbs and spices in the broth, the use of bony local Mediterranean fish, and the method of serving. In Marseille, the broth is served first in a bowl containing the bread and rouille, with the seafood and vegetables served separately in another bowl or on a platter.
wikipedia.org

The Old Port or Vieux-Port, the main harbour and marina of the city. It is guarded by two massive forts (Fort St Nicolas and Fort Saint Jean) and is one of the main places to eat in the city. Dozens of cafés line the waterfront. The Quai des Belges at the end of the harbour is the site of the daily fish market. Much of the northern quayside area was rebuilt by the architect Fernand Pouillon after its destruction by the Nazis in 1943. wikipedia.org
08 January 2010
roctober

check out the entrance to our new place. i love all the greenery and the complex itself is just nice. it seems like a relatively new building and ended up being literally just a few blocks down from our old place.

one week i got a call from my school asking if i could come in to work extra as they were recruiting for one of our partner airlines. i said sure since it would give me a good idea of what my students go through during the interview/screening process. it was eye-opening to say the least. we were recruiting for Air Emirates and i guess they are like the best airline with a good reputation. first i spent the afternoon calling applicants to do like a pre-screening Eng test over the phone. it tested my Arabic skills for sure and was interesting to learn better phone etiquette. so, after deciding if the applicant's Eng skills were good enough i would either invite or no invite them to the screening/interview stage that would be held at our school. the picture above shows what the room would look like for the first round of the screening process. applicants wore numbers and would come into the room and sit down. they then had to stand up and introduce themselves one by one. this was all done in Eng. the panel would have the list of applicants as shown on the desk above to take notes about their appearance, their Eng level, experience, etc. i felt like i was on American Idol! it was very interesting to say the least. we say loads and loads of applicants...at least a couple hundred over the three days of screening.
so, the picture above is one shot of the city i live in and the city across the river. this pic was taken from our new roof! it has an incredible view to say the least. you can see all over the city and it is just breath-taking. we also hang our laundry out up there, which has been nice for it to dry quickly with full-on sun, but when it rains, there is no cover for the clothes.
in the midst of the move i had a friend come to visit! we managed to see the sites of the city and just enjoyed sharing about our experiences in the Arab world. she is also an Eng teacher, so that was great to talk about as well. she was such a trooper to even help us pack up and move from our old place to the new one!
we ended up doing a majority of our packing the night before the move, which worked since we got it all down and had a huge truck to move everything the next day. fun, fun, fun!
check out my new room and below is a pic of our salon in process. of course, now we are all settled in pretty well to the new place. it is really nice with three bedrooms and two baths. our kitchen is pretty sweet with loads of storage space as well! it has been an interesting transition for sure with a new roommate and then also just being a few blocks from the old place. even though it is close, it is like a whole other world since we have all new people to meet and interact with on a daily basis.
a friend, A, and i went fabric shopping in the city across the river (since it is loads cheaper at times) and i wasn't planning to buy fabric to have a jellaba made but i found this blue/green fabric and fell in love! so, i had one made. i had picked up our jellabas from the tailor and when my friend came back in town she was able to pick them up. we of course had to get a photo-shoot in with one of our local friends!
later we were invited to a wedding by our local friend and somehow i got deemed to be the make-up artist. i had fun and laughed cause i know some of you back home would be suprised!
A and i at the wedding. we ended up getting there hours early so we could get a ride from the family whose son was getting married. we passed the time by taking loads of photos and talking around the table. it was a really nice wedding for sure!
not too long after we arrived we began to get antsy just sitting there, so we went outside to check out what was going on out there. group shot of the ladies!
at about 11pm the bride showed up! this grand entrance is very traditional and loads of fun to watch as the men carrying her have like this whole routine they do in bringing her in. she just holds on and waves to all the folks in the room! turns out the RSVPs didn't total out and they were having to add chairs all over the place. it was a par-tay!
the bride and groom! they looked so happy! they were sorta young, with her being maybe 19 and he was like 23. it was fun to watch them though. sweet!
no wedding is complete without dancing!! S and i enjoyed dancing the night away on the dance floor for sure!
one day i went to my lang school and was stoked to find my teacher wearing his AR shirt! i had to grab a photo with him wearing it since, i hadn't gotten a chance to before. go Arkansas!
and of course our trick or treating tradition continued this year. i was the karate kid! we visited four homes and was able to hand out candy from the lovely jack-o-lantern (thanks Hannah and Christina!) it was a lot of fun for sure!
in preparation for our desert trip us girls got all dolled up in sahara-style head scarves. oh, and meet my new roomie in the middle: Christy! we were getting a bit silly at this point with it being close to midnight and we were still packing to leave the next day for our desert trip.
thanks to Lisa for the fannypacks that we were able to wear on our trip down south. turns out that we weren't meant to go to the desert that weekend with loads of sickness going around. stayed tuned as we did eventually make it!
above and below are pics from our fannypack fotoshoot. Lisa offered us the opp to be in her Fannypack Calendar, so we had fun getting some shots! both were taken from our roof.
H.ROCK.CITY & del campo scrubs
this is a zoomed in shot of the view from their balcony...not bad, aye? it is a somewhat new city in relation to the age of the buildings as many of the homes and buildings were wiped out in an earthquake in the last century. it was lovely with the backdrop of the sea. it was very hilly and mountainous and gorgeous!
after my friend picked me up from the airport, we met her husband and her other son to go grab some lunch. since we were so close to the sea, i wanted to try out the fish. it was outstanding to say the least. i tried the sole. yummy.
then we walked around the city some going to this amazing park/walking area/soccer complex. had to get this shot for my mom:) it was just soooo beautiful! the rock behind me here is the other side of the rock that i pictured in the first picture of this blog post. we were walking along this newly made walking area/park that they had finished before the king's annual visit.
i was sooo impressed! the soccer fields were really nice and the whole place was just so clean and nicely designed. the boys enjoyed getting to run around a bit. one of the boys and i raced up and down this walkway...he was a fierce competitor:)
we made it back to their house and decided to check out these building sets i brought for the boys. i learned that there were actually instructions well into my assembly and had to backtrack a bit. they were great helpers!
then we took another walk around their 'hood to their local park. there were so many parks in this city. it was incredible! such great views everywhere, too!!
the next day we went to their househelper's home for some couscous. it was really yummy and such a treat to be guests in her family's home. the Samsonator loved the chickens and had to restrain from playing with them (hence the hands behind his back) as he had been found before out in the chicken's coop. it was cute.
the family's home was just outside the city and was perched at the base of this nice hill/mount. we went exploring and roamed around their hill/mount to catch some pretty incredible views! later we found a turtle. the boys loved it!
then we took the scenic drive back to their home, which was crazy cause the inclines and delcines were intense. they have this sweet 4x4, too. it was totally fun! check out the beautiful pic below. my friends said it reminded them a lot of Hawaii. cool!
here is a shot of the whole rock and the city. it was so beautiful and just a lot of fun to explore a different part of the country. i was so stoked to find tortillas here! i bought loads of them:)
my friend is a nurse and helps with clinics out in the countryside, so i got to join her one day. we woke up before dawn and enjoyed a fabulous drive out into the countryside. the drive was about 4 hours to get to the clinic where we met other nurses and then the drive continued further into the countryside...
the views were outstanding along the way! it was such a joy to be able to take in all these gorgeous views. wow.
in the pic above you can see some lines cut into the mountainside...that was the road we came in on to the depths of the countryside. it was totally fun to be 4x4in' it! i taught the local folks how to say yee-haw! i think it was another hour/hour and a half to the actual village in which we worked. so, overall...about 5 or 5 1/2 hours one way. road trip fun!
i was put to work doing whatever i could to help. i worked as a pharmacist putting pills into baggies to hand out, worked the powerpoint that the women watched while waiting, took the ladies' height and weight before being seen, etc. it was a great experience! i loved being able to be there with my friend and meeting some really incredible women.
above is the waiting room. it was busy to say the least. there were local doctors and nurses that were giving immunizations and then our crew was giving ultrasounds to women that were pregnant. it was quite a full day!
here was the room we were working in and the mobile ultrasound machine. cool! we saw just under 40 women in maybe 8 hours or less. it was a neat system and was so interesting to hear the women's stories. cool.
we got a tea and snack break up on top of the clinic. here is my friend and i posing with the mountains in the background. beautiful! the second tallest mountain in the country is there behind us. i was so grateful to have this special time with my friend and to be able to see her work!