one of the most interesting weekends of my life

i had gotten an invitation to spend the Eid (the culminating celebration of R-dan) with a friend and her family down south. turns out i was unable to spend this holiday with them as the days of the Eid were too close to my departure date to France and with it being quite a significant holiday we didn't want to chance it with me not being able to get back to my home-city and then not make it on the plane. so, my friend and her delightful sister insisted that we are travel down to their family's home about 4 hours away. it was a really neat trip and i learned much more than i think i had expected. the family really didn't speak much english at all, so the weekend was a great time to practice language and learn/practice some more phrases, words, etc. in some ways i have to admit that i cam back feeling like i still don't know very much, but thankfully friends like yourself have reminded me that i have come so far and should celebrate that--thanks RB! :) also, i was somewhat surprised by the emotions that came about as a result of this weekend visit. i was showing the family pictures of my family and honestly i had a tear come down my cheek as being with this family made me want to be with my family. the community my friend's family lives in as been just about evacuated to european countries with the hopes of finding work to provide for their families. honestly that was very sad. and to also hear about the struggles of my friend's family in the midst of their extreme hospitality. they are very giving for sure. it was just a lot to take in and i am still unpacking what all happened--how, why, etc.


what an incredible cultural immersion opportunity this was!


so, onto the adventures of my trip.


from the first step out onto the street from my apartment to meet my friend the adventure began! we immediately starting walking quickly, then jogging began as we were trying to catch a city bus to take us to the city's bus station. we got on the bus and the generousity begins. my friends insists on paying my way on the bus. we come to the city bus station and get off the city bus to enter the station. men everywhere are blurting out city names with bus tickets in their hands. my friend's sister had already purchased our tickets and was already even on the bus. she had been there for about two hours waiting and then when allowed on the bus she saved the front row of seats. so, i know some may be wondering what kind of bus this was. as far as i know there were not any chickens hanging out anywhere on the bus. it was actually pretty close to a greyhound bus. although the horn was like that of a freight train! and the driver never curbed his usage. honking is pretty normal here, so him using it regularly wasn't too much of a surprise. so after getting on the bus and sitting there for a bit, i was given some roasted chicken and hubz (the local bread) to start snacking on from my friend's sister. i am pretty sure i ate a chicken liver. later the sister, Z, went to get something to drink. and they don't really do individual bottles here a lot. so, she brought back a liter and a half of fanta with some small plastic cups so we could share. so different from America, right? anyways, later Z decided to haggle with a guy that came on the bus selling flavoured wafers so he would lower the price lke 15 cents. it was pretty interesting to watch. after about an hour we finally left the station and were on our way. it amazed me how along the way we would pick up people in what i thought to be random places, but everyone seemed to think it completely normal. i enjoyed taking in the sights of the countryside as we got further from the big cities. at one smaller town the driver started honking the horn to signal his arrival for whay i thought might be another pick up of people, but instead we came to a stop and he proceeded to lay on the blasting horn. i looked over and saw this young guy quickly react. he ran over to the butcher shop, motioned quickly at the butcher, and delivered a bag of meat to the driver. the driver put the meat by his side and we proceeded. what?!?! :)

later we actually stopped a a station where folks got off the grab a snack (and this isn't like an Exxon) or visit the bathroom. so, i had already told my friend and Z that i wasn't hungry, but of course she bought a ground beef sandwich and fries for me. it was tasty, but i knew there would be food waiting at the house for us. Z said that they always bought from food these guys while travelling, so it was only the right thing to do.

so, then as it got closer the our place of arrival, the sisters asked if we could be dropped off along the route. i thought we were maybe going to this somewhat larger, southern city, but turns out i was wrong. the bus stopped and we quickly gathered our things and hopped off the bus. we were immediately greeted by another sister and a man that would drive us to their home. i never saw that man again. so, we arrived to the house and greetings/cheek kissing all around! of course there was food on the table--casse crout--which is their snacky meal that is served actually before dinner. so, we enjoyed the foods, changed into pajamas, and i got introduced to all the family. then of course later we had dinner--maybe 11pm or 11:30. below is a photo of us all digging into the tajine. it was great! they are full of laughs and loads of fun. i do have to say that one of the the interesting parts of the weekend for me was that i realized that this family had encountered a couple of other blonde foreigner ladies before. so, i was compared to them some during the weekend and told just about endlessly that i was beautiful and nice. it was a lot to take in. then it turns out that the sisters were pretty forward in basically letting me choose which brother i would like to marry. i have to say that started to put a damper on things because i just didn't really want that to be the focus of the weekend. so, i tried to just avoid it all together and finally had to say that it is basically forbidden for me to date folks while i am here to study--which is true! and they held off the topic some from then on. so, we then got ready for bed...
i got to sleep in the other salon with my friend and her daughter and the mama. i slept were the solo green pillow is there and mama actually slept on the floor! it was so nice and quiet there.
the next day we woke up and had breakfast. we started out with this dunplingish soup and then had some breads and tea. after a little bit Z and i went to talk about in the city to check out the sites and to pick up ingredients for the couscous lunch. we went through their medina, which was really, really small. i definitely got a lot more stares and thankfully not as many comments since i was with my NA friend. it was fun to see their city and to learn more about it. after we returned to the house, we decided to have a little photo session. then my friend gave me this outfit above--a traditional dress called a tiksheta. i was so honored. later we had couscous for lunch and of course they insisted that i eat enough food for like me and two other people. they were so giving. below is a photo of a decor item i bought from one of my lang teachers actually. she is really talented. it is very common to bring a gift when going to a home for a visit. i wanted something special, so i was excited when i remembered that my teacher painted these wall hangings.
i gave it to them and they immediately errupted into gratitude saying how much the loved it. and quickly after all the praises, they found a nail to hang it on the wall right then. i was so glad they liked it:)
so, for the evening meal, they asked me which dish i liked the most. i mentioned one and then mentioned another that is prepared with chicken. they said they would make the second dish i mentioned. so, they talked to each other a bit and such. i didn't understand everything, but soon understood what they had discussed. after the photo session my friend asked if i wanted to shower. i was sorta surprised because i was kind of thinking i would not shower until i got home. i said that i could just wash me hair, but she said that is was okay. well, the toilet (room) is also the shower. they did not quite have a "squatty potty", but actually had a toilet, but without the flushing capacity. so, the shower was just me, soap, shampoo, a bucket of water, a cup, and a drain. all right next to this toilet. it was interesting for sure, but i am glad that i had been exposed to similiar bathing technique/places elsewhere before this time. i got all cleaned up and turns out my friend actually trained as a hair stylist. so, she wanted to blowdry my hair for me and style it all nice. that was fun!

my friend and i went for a stroll in the afternoon and on the way out of the courtyard of the house--i had looked over to see one of the cats with a chicken head in its mouth! i have to admit it startled me and then quickly thereafter it all clicked: they were trying to decided which chicken from out front we were going to have with the dish that night. talk about freshness!

so, later on my stomach started to bother me--which i still don't know why. i went to go lay down a bit in that other salon and soon there after the whole crew was asking where i had gone. see, life is not lived alone here. if one person feels ill, another person must take on that same illness--one can't be ill alone! so, they came into the salon flipping on the light and asking me all kinds of questions. thankfully i had my trusty lang dictionary with me to help with some vocab i hadn't learned yet. they let me rest some, but fed me some of their own knd of medicine even after i took some of my own pepto. then the brothers came home and wondered where i was and when they found out i wasn't feeling 100% one of the bros came into the salon and proceeding to question me and then left to go get a natural medicinal type agent. i drank some tea that he made, and then they all insisted that i drink tonic water! it was not delicious--and i told them that:) they enjoyed my scrunchy faces and sour looks. so, then they asked if i could eat yet. after all that liquid there was no way i could eat anything. i asked them with a great big PLEASE if i didn't have to eat right then. they laughed when i said please:)

so, i laid down a bit longer and they weren't eating cause i wasn't eating. oh, and to go back to the whole you are never alone concept. my friend said that her stomach felt kind of bad, too. and she even took medicine when i took it and drank that tonic water right along with me. pretty amazing, huh?
after a bit i felt good enough to go out to the other salon and join them for the delicious food. although this time i wasn't going to be able to eat nearly as much as i had the previous meals. i never actually got sick, just had bad stomach pain and nausea. but i felt better by the end of the night, which by that point it was time to go to bed. the next morning we got up, had breakfast, and made our way to the bus station. the amazing thing about our trek back was that my friend and her sister had gotten the phone number of bus driver so he could save us the front seats on the way home. indeed he made good on the deal and we had those fronts seats on the way home! i don't think i ate anything for at least 8 hours. i was sooo full.
i got home and my fabulous roommate had planned to have hot dogs and mac & cheese for dinner. it was so delicious:)
it was quite a weekend and really challenged me in my lang, my thoughts, my cultural perspective and worldview. there are some major hardships these folks deal with here. and on the way home it was hard to hear my friend say that so many of the people here want to marry foreigners because of their light skin or a to possibly get a ticket to another place to have a better life. i tried so hard to communicate that beauty fades. isn't it amazing that us humans look many times only skin deep and usually prefer what we don't have.
so, thanks for reading. i know this was a lot, but even if this blog serves as a diary for me of my time here, it has been necessary for me to share. i only wish you could see, hear, smell, and experience so many more of the little things (and big things, too) that i see, hear, smell, and experience each and every day here.
much, much love.